Next questions asked to Foreigners...

How did you learn the language so quickly without any background?

Before coming to Russia, I already knew a couple languages, as I studied them at university and have already lived in different countries since I was 17.

My entire life, I heard that I was “gifted in languages”, as I could learn them pretty well in a short time. I am not sure that people can be gifted in learning languages. I think it is just a “gymnastic of the mind.” Once you know a foreign language, you can learn thousands of others without any problems. It is like travelling – it’s like a virus. When you start, it’s hard to stop the process - living without learning languages becomes impossible.

More seriously, when you decide to live abroad, a “survival instinct” kicks in and helps you to communicate, even without words.

Then, how well you can speak the language, how strong your accent is, how much of the vocabulary you can remember, how able you are to understand the way a language works – it depends on the desire of the person to learn the language in question and also the goal(s) of the person: motivation? Goal to survive? Needed for work or for travel?

For my part, I wanted to “survive” and to be able to communicate with Russians quickly. Mistakes in speaking and incorrect writing/reading are not so important in that case. The essential for me was to share things with people - the language was then obviously needed.

When I was 17 and lived in the USA, I had a daily one hour Russian lesson. And believe it or not, after 1 school year, I didn’t know much more than presenting myself. I didn’t even know that in the Cyrillic alphabet, letters can be totally different if printed or cursive! Well that was new to me! And I can tell you: not very good news.

About 10 years later, I tried to take some evening classes in Paris, but didn’t attend much as I was studying and working at the same time. So when I signed up for Russia, I gave myself 2 months in order to “understand” Russian in general and “to be understood”, also in general. And it worked. The will-power is I guess the only key to learn a language or anything else!

Furthermore, I noticed that I always learn languages that sound good to my ears, the other ones – useless.

Are you married? Have you got children?

Delicate question.

In a country where a 30-year-old woman is considered “old” - especially in the provinces, you had better find arguments to justify why you are still not married and don’t have kids yet at this age! I cannot lie, but have much imagination, and as the years went by, my answers evolved:

“Not yet! I’m too young!”

“I don’t know how long I will stay in Russia, so, why should I think of marriage and kids now?”

After I got my immigration card, I said:

“In other countries, like in France for instance, it is not such a problem not to have kids or to be officially single at 30. It’s just a matter of culture, state of mind, mentality. Open your mind!”

“I haven’t find the “right man” yet – you know how hard it is to find one here” (even if I disagree a bit with this idea, I knew it was accepted from the other side).

As I was living with a Russian man, I argued:

“I don’t feel ready to get married yet – so much bureaucracy for a foreigner! And if we have kids and then get divorced. There would be so many difficulties to get a fair sentence between 2 countries!” (cf. 2009 – The Story of Elise,her Russian mother Irina Belenkaya and her French father Jean-Michel André).

And these are just “examples” of answers I gave when I lived in Perm.

I should say that this question is not only typical in Russia; it is possible to hear this pretty much everywhere, even in Europe. Just the age differs – people are not so shocked with a single woman without kids at 30, but at 35-40.

Are you afraid of our police? Politics? Authorities?

No, I am not afraid of the Russian authorities. Why should I? Everywhere where you go – the only thing you should take care of is to live legally in the country and to learn about all the judicial nuances in order not to have any problems with bureaucracy. It is not so much that you could have “problems” on the territory (fine, prison), but more that you can be prohibited from living there if you don’t have all your documents in order. It would be a shame if you have decided to make your life there.

And even though the corruption is high in a country, don’t do anything illegal with your documents. A “little thing” can make you regret it forever.

What do you think of Russian people? Cold, unpolite, aggressive, never smiling ?

Well, that’s also a tough one! I cannot say that when you go to Russia, the first impression you get from the people is: warm-welcoming-smiling people. But as I said before, you just have to get to know them a little bit and then, they will give you such a smile, that you will be able to count their teeth!

Russians, like other nationalities are so different from each other, that it is impossible to even get close to generalization. And let’s not go into stereotypes.

Did you find it easy to make some friends? What about your free time?

Russia is a very cultural country. Even in the provinces, as I described of Perm, festivals, shows, exhibitions, concerts, sports events, musicals, are going on everywhere. So, if you don’t want to get bored – there are plenty of things to do! And if not in your city, there will be for sure various cultural events throughout the year in another city not so far away. (Of course distances are relative here) And if not, you can always have lots of fun in the countryside (skiing, hiking) or even watching TV, getting used to the beautiful Russian language.

So, it’s just up to you!

Personally, everywhere I lived, I never had a sense of homesickness or of loneliness. I simply like communicating, knowing and experiencing new things rather than just choosing the best activities for me at that moment. That is the reason why there is also no rule about making/having friends. An opened-minded and sociable person will never be alone abroad, just as “at home.” It’s just a question of personality.

Anyhow, the only thing is to be patient, correct and respectful, without being arrogant or having a superiority complex. Nobody is better than anyone else.

So try to get to know people, to understand their way of thinking, and to adapt to the inhabitants of the country you have adopted. In Russia, like in Germany for example, I had the experience of cold people initially, and after breaking down the barriers, they are the sweetest and the most generous people I have met. So, judge for yourself!

Did you try Banya? Do you like it? And did you try our Vodka ?

I don’t like Banya - I LOVE it! Especially when knowing it better and better – it’s only tradition, but a real ritual! And so good for most people’s health! In Russia, a Banya is a particular type of sauna.
Russian banyas usually have three rooms: a steam room, a washing room and an entrance room. Temperatures can exceed 200 degrees Fahrenheit (93 degrees Celsius), so special hats are worn to protect the head from this intense heat. People often hit themselves (massage) with bunches of dried branches and leaves from white birch, oak or eucalyptus in order to improve the blood circulation. The dried branches are moistened with very hot water before use. Aromatherapy extracts are often put into the steam water to improve the effects on the health. Like in other saunas, people are going back and forth in the steam room. In between, they would rest, talk with each other, take care of their look, eat and drink. At weekends, only for pleasure, for the wish of improving their health or to celebrate special occasions (birthdays, New Year...).

If you don’t like the heat too much, you can still have a good time with your friends there, drinking some tea, eating good food or just relaxing, enjoying the moment. Something also hilarious about Banya, people can get together naked, without even knowing each other, but talking with the “polite YOU-form”. Shocking and funny for the first time, and then you just get used to it.

Regarding alcohol, I don't drink it all; not even wine. I know it sounds weird for a French person, but that’s the way it is. And when Russians point this out, I usually answer: “To be a Parisian living in Perm and not thinking of going back – is already atypical. So why should I like wine then? And what about you - Russians – do you all drink Vodka?”

And usually the matter is over - for at least a little while.

The essential thing for a foreigner in Russia is to learn how to say « no »: when someone offers you a drink and if you don’t want to, don’t do it! Russians will try to persuade, even insist; believe me! Say you are allergic to alcohol if you have no imagination or make up anything you want, but don’t do that! Because after 1 shot you won’t be able to control yourself and will dance naked on the table – which probably won’t delight the old people (well, who knows). And then, they’ll remember that you drank once, and will think of you as “one of them,” and as drinking is a cult (as we’ll see in the next chapter), you better watch out - just a small recommendation.

What do you think of our roads compared to the European ones?

Well, here I guess there is just one and universal answer: except for a couple of highways created in the entire country – the Russian roads are just awful !

So just be patient, as the distances are usually long and the speed is very limited. And a good car is necessary! It really helps, believe me!

Is it better in Russia or in Europe?

At first, it is normal to want to compare countries to make your arguments more plausible, but then you understand that there is no point. So I simply answer now: “Nowhere is a total Paradise and nowhere is Hell. There are pluses and minuses everywhere, aren’t there? Just in different sectors, that’s all.”

And only if the person is interested in going further on this point, we can discuss it. If not, this answer usually satisfies everybody.

What about the dirt in our country?

Sometimes, I contain myself by not answering automatically: “You haven’t been to Paris yet, have you?”

I usually answer that dirt here, especially in the provinces, is cleaner than in Europe: in Russia, there are no storm drains, so you can imagine the state of the roads after the rain. But it is “just” a mixture of earth and water, a kind of “natural dirt” - no garbage!

Russians usually tell me that in occidental movies, or when they go abroad, nobody takes their shoes off when going into someone’s home: “your streets are so clean!” But it is not true. They are not cleaner! Just not so wet. The Russian weather is more humid and wet (a lot of rain and snow), and then walking around the house with shoes on – is not comfortable. Furthermore, do you know what kind of shoes Russians wear in the winter? Can you imagine wearing huge warm boots, eating dinner in Russian apartments, where the temperature is rarely below 25°C?

The main difference is spring. While the Europeans associate spring with “birds”, “flowers”, “romance”, “love”, “soon summertime”, in Russia - especially in the provinces, it is the synonym of the ugliest season of the year; as a matter of fact, spring is the end of a long winter full of snow. Snow which melts in the springtime. Thus, all the garbage, the poops (sorry for the details, but it’s reality), and everything you can imagine snow can hide for a while, is slowly being revealed by the sun. Of course, everything is gradually cleaned by professionals, but still, it is not the best time to go for a walk or enjoy the season.

Russian cities are not so dirty, I can even say less dirty than in many countries I’ve been to, and Europe is no exception. The biggest dirt in Russia is – garbage in the countryside, but I’ll come back to that later on.

What about our weather?

Well, after almost 6 years of living here – I’m still alive, so I guess that humans can adapt to any climate, without being crazy or masochistic!

More seriously, Russia has such a big territory, that it is really difficult to talk about climate. In fact, anyone can find the climate he/she is comfortable with, somewhere in Russia.

I personally better deal with a dry and continental climate – Ural was therefore very comfortable for me. The climate in Moscow is harder on my body, even if temperatures are a lot higher. When very cold, but dry, you just need warm clothing, and can even go for a walk in the forest for a couple hours without any problem, before warming up in a Banya, if you want to. If not, you will find that Russian homes are sometimes so hot that you feel as if you are in a sauna.

The other important thing is to feed oneself properly. When I lived with my family, we followed a French diet with little fat, little salt, and more vegetables than starchy food. Here, you definitely need the contrary, without even thinking of your “figure”: fat is quickly burnt into the energy you use in your daily activities and while fighting against the cold.

So don’t worry about your silhouette.

However, it is essential to have a healthy lifestyle and food hygiene, as I’ll explain in more detail later in my “suggestion for living in Russia.” And people here can help you with it – they have far more experience! Just forget about your eating habit, trust their recommendations and you will see the difference – I swear!

It is fundamental for your physical and psychological state of mind. Depression due to an inadequate lifestyle can affect your life and it would be very hard to recover - even maybe impossible, in a country which will never be “yours...”