"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience."
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
It doesn’t matter why you decided to go abroad even if it’s just on vacation, the first experience you’ll usually get when meeting people is – answering their questions. ALL kinds of questions. From the simplest ones through the more complicated ones until the most intimate ones. You just have to accept it and deal with it the best you can to satisfy everybody. And I should confess that it is not always easy...
We are all human beings, with our moods and limits to our patience, and sometimes we even run out of ideas and don’t know what to answer any more. Fortunately (or not), that doesn’t always allow us to (re-)act adequately in front of people. But it is normal for a foreigner. Don’t we always react in the best way we can in Life, normally based on our experiences at that point? Wisdom comes after further analysis, when we just try not to repeat the same mistakes, doesn’t it? So, just relax, don’t feel bad and keep it up!
Sooner or later nobody will want to answer these questions over and over again.
And everybody probably thought once: “Man! I’m so sick of answering the same questions! Am I asking you all this ?!” If you did say it – nothing is wrong with it. It’s just another life experience. Just accept the fact that if you have decided to live your life abroad, you will always be a “foreigner”, and you will always have to answer these questions endlessly, even after many years of living in the same place.
After 6 years of living in Russia, I still answer the same questions but in different ways so as to avoid feeling like a robot. Of course, even with the years going by, you cannot avoid answering “coldly” or “automatically” sometimes to people – it all depends on your state of mind. Sometimes I answer very shortly, sometimes with a long “monologue” (my skills in Russian are now sufficient), other times I turn the question around: “And you, what do you think?” In some other cases, I answer politely but with humor - not really answering the questions, because either I don’t feel like answering properly or don’t see that the person in front of me has got an interest in knowing the answer.
Oh! And something else! I don’t want to scare you, but even if somehow you can get rid of these eternal questions (lucky you!), you’ll still have to repeat the answers to your acquaintances and friends from time to time, as they still “don’t understand” and don't “accept” the answers or “forget them”! And don’t forget that these questions can also come from your family and closest friends from “home” – but that’s another issue we won’t discuss here. Most of the questions are very similar when it deals with a person’s life, but further on, it obviously depends on the country where you have decided to go to or to live in. But which questions am I talking about for so long? Here they are. Some of them you’re already familiar with and some others are surely coming to you soon.
Constant, inevitable and eternal questions...
Why Russia ?
This is already a “tricky question” where people usually mean Why did I choose this country and why did I decide to stay there. After living so long in Russia and answering this question, I’m not sure I can even now give “proper arguments” about the fact I chose to stay here. This choice of life is now really anchored deep within me and is not so easy to justify anymore, as more and more experiences are reinforcing it every day.
Why did I come to Russia?
Very simple: I decided to come here just to learn the language that always sounded beautiful to my ears. And being fully immerged in the country seemed to me the best way to learn it properly and quickly. Therefore, I searched and found a job that sent me for a couple of years to Perm, a provincial town. Coming from Paris to Perm, as you can guess, did not sound like a “dream” at first. Perm… Perm… Perm - Do you know where this city is situated in the huge Russian territory? As for me, until I looked it up on a map – I had no clue!
Why did I choose Perm instead of any other provincial city? First of all, thanks to my geography classes at school in France (or my laziness in learning something from them), I didn’t know any of the cities the Ministry of Foreign Affairs offered me work in. Secondly, I didn’t know Russian or anybody here and figured that a “passive city”, even if the climate would be nice, would not be easy to live in for the first months – too boring. So I looked up on the Internet, and saw that Perm was culturally active. Finally, Perm definitely has no pretty architecture, has a very short history (less than 300 y.), a continental climate, but hopefully is situated in a splendid green region – Ural. Furthermore, it has many different theaters and especially classical ballets well known worldwide. As an amateur ballerina for many years, I thought I wouldn’t live a boring life there. And so it was! So many things went on in this city while I lived there: singers known around the world (Cesaria Evora, Patricia Kaas, Goran Bregovic), shows, even the Perm Ballet goes to Paris regularly! So I won’t even exaggerate, saying that - Theater was my “Second Home.” Not to feel depressed in a foreign country, in particular, when you don’t know the language, you have to have a life outside of work. And Culture was one of my shelters, until I found myself and made new friends with whom I could then regularly leave my house and the city.
Why did I stay in Russia?
Who never read Dr Zhivago or saw the movie? Who never dreamt of living among the prettiest girls in the world, surrounded with an extraordinary natural environment? Who never thought of escaping reality, listening to traditional music or watching a ballet? Who wouldn't like to wake up and go to bed hearing a beautiful language? Who isn’t interested in living in a country with a rich historical background and the possibility of talking about it with its inhabitants? And who doesn’t like vodka? Well, if you are like me and never dreamt of all this, then just imagine it right now. Winter - everything is white. You live in a Dacha (a sort of cottage) in the middle of nowhere, with only a beautiful forest surrounding it, hearing nice romantic music at home. You feel relaxed and enjoy the moment. When, suddenly you hear the sounds of footsteps coming towards you and a voice whispering: “Hey! Clear the snow in front of the garage, I’ve got to go to town.” Oh well, we’ll keep dreaming another time, then!
Anyway, Russia - it is not just cold, snow, female beauty, vodka. Sorry to disappoint you, but in reality is totally different, as we’ll see in the next chapter.
Contrary to many expatriates, I didn’t decide to stay in Russia, (especially in Perm for 3 more years after the end of my contract), to “escape my country”, for the wonderful climate (drops to –42°C in winter), or even for a man, but simply because I got pleasure from getting to know another culture, way of life, and outlook on life that just fascinated me (and still does!) and is closer to mine. And my life experiences in this country brought me to the conclusion that living here or somewhere else doesn’t matter if you are feeling good within yourself. The geographical place where you live isn’t really important then. As an acquaintance of mine once told me, “Success in Life only comes after a person has found inner-peace. Not the opposite.” And just now, I can say that I understand these wise words and live differently. Of course you might already want to close this book, thinking “Oh! Whatever! It is just philosophy which gives nothing but money to sects or companies dealing with spiritual and esoteric practices.” If you think that way, I’m sorry to tell you, but you are wrong. And some tips to help you to get this state of mind will be described throughout this blog, especially in the last chapter.
And everybody probably thought once: “Man! I’m so sick of answering the same questions! Am I asking you all this ?!” If you did say it – nothing is wrong with it. It’s just another life experience. Just accept the fact that if you have decided to live your life abroad, you will always be a “foreigner”, and you will always have to answer these questions endlessly, even after many years of living in the same place.
After 6 years of living in Russia, I still answer the same questions but in different ways so as to avoid feeling like a robot. Of course, even with the years going by, you cannot avoid answering “coldly” or “automatically” sometimes to people – it all depends on your state of mind. Sometimes I answer very shortly, sometimes with a long “monologue” (my skills in Russian are now sufficient), other times I turn the question around: “And you, what do you think?” In some other cases, I answer politely but with humor - not really answering the questions, because either I don’t feel like answering properly or don’t see that the person in front of me has got an interest in knowing the answer.
Oh! And something else! I don’t want to scare you, but even if somehow you can get rid of these eternal questions (lucky you!), you’ll still have to repeat the answers to your acquaintances and friends from time to time, as they still “don’t understand” and don't “accept” the answers or “forget them”! And don’t forget that these questions can also come from your family and closest friends from “home” – but that’s another issue we won’t discuss here. Most of the questions are very similar when it deals with a person’s life, but further on, it obviously depends on the country where you have decided to go to or to live in. But which questions am I talking about for so long? Here they are. Some of them you’re already familiar with and some others are surely coming to you soon.
Constant, inevitable and eternal questions...
Why Russia ?
This is already a “tricky question” where people usually mean Why did I choose this country and why did I decide to stay there. After living so long in Russia and answering this question, I’m not sure I can even now give “proper arguments” about the fact I chose to stay here. This choice of life is now really anchored deep within me and is not so easy to justify anymore, as more and more experiences are reinforcing it every day.
Why did I come to Russia?
Very simple: I decided to come here just to learn the language that always sounded beautiful to my ears. And being fully immerged in the country seemed to me the best way to learn it properly and quickly. Therefore, I searched and found a job that sent me for a couple of years to Perm, a provincial town. Coming from Paris to Perm, as you can guess, did not sound like a “dream” at first. Perm… Perm… Perm - Do you know where this city is situated in the huge Russian territory? As for me, until I looked it up on a map – I had no clue!
Why did I choose Perm instead of any other provincial city? First of all, thanks to my geography classes at school in France (or my laziness in learning something from them), I didn’t know any of the cities the Ministry of Foreign Affairs offered me work in. Secondly, I didn’t know Russian or anybody here and figured that a “passive city”, even if the climate would be nice, would not be easy to live in for the first months – too boring. So I looked up on the Internet, and saw that Perm was culturally active. Finally, Perm definitely has no pretty architecture, has a very short history (less than 300 y.), a continental climate, but hopefully is situated in a splendid green region – Ural. Furthermore, it has many different theaters and especially classical ballets well known worldwide. As an amateur ballerina for many years, I thought I wouldn’t live a boring life there. And so it was! So many things went on in this city while I lived there: singers known around the world (Cesaria Evora, Patricia Kaas, Goran Bregovic), shows, even the Perm Ballet goes to Paris regularly! So I won’t even exaggerate, saying that - Theater was my “Second Home.” Not to feel depressed in a foreign country, in particular, when you don’t know the language, you have to have a life outside of work. And Culture was one of my shelters, until I found myself and made new friends with whom I could then regularly leave my house and the city.
Why did I stay in Russia?
Who never read Dr Zhivago or saw the movie? Who never dreamt of living among the prettiest girls in the world, surrounded with an extraordinary natural environment? Who never thought of escaping reality, listening to traditional music or watching a ballet? Who wouldn't like to wake up and go to bed hearing a beautiful language? Who isn’t interested in living in a country with a rich historical background and the possibility of talking about it with its inhabitants? And who doesn’t like vodka? Well, if you are like me and never dreamt of all this, then just imagine it right now. Winter - everything is white. You live in a Dacha (a sort of cottage) in the middle of nowhere, with only a beautiful forest surrounding it, hearing nice romantic music at home. You feel relaxed and enjoy the moment. When, suddenly you hear the sounds of footsteps coming towards you and a voice whispering: “Hey! Clear the snow in front of the garage, I’ve got to go to town.” Oh well, we’ll keep dreaming another time, then!
Anyway, Russia - it is not just cold, snow, female beauty, vodka. Sorry to disappoint you, but in reality is totally different, as we’ll see in the next chapter.
Contrary to many expatriates, I didn’t decide to stay in Russia, (especially in Perm for 3 more years after the end of my contract), to “escape my country”, for the wonderful climate (drops to –42°C in winter), or even for a man, but simply because I got pleasure from getting to know another culture, way of life, and outlook on life that just fascinated me (and still does!) and is closer to mine. And my life experiences in this country brought me to the conclusion that living here or somewhere else doesn’t matter if you are feeling good within yourself. The geographical place where you live isn’t really important then. As an acquaintance of mine once told me, “Success in Life only comes after a person has found inner-peace. Not the opposite.” And just now, I can say that I understand these wise words and live differently. Of course you might already want to close this book, thinking “Oh! Whatever! It is just philosophy which gives nothing but money to sects or companies dealing with spiritual and esoteric practices.” If you think that way, I’m sorry to tell you, but you are wrong. And some tips to help you to get this state of mind will be described throughout this blog, especially in the last chapter.
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