Russia - a paradoxical country

Russia – an apparently paradoxical country
"Carpe diem", but still living in the past

As we already saw:

Like in the USSR, the Russians don’t stop working, even for symbolic money (mostly the old generation). People working in education and healthcare aren’t afraid to work at 3-4 different places in order to survive (very low salaries), knowing that when retired, they’ll still work the same. In contrast, a problem with national laziness is also distinguishable in the country; like everywhere else, not everybody wants to work hard. So that can be considered as a first paradox.
The second enigma (or "nonsense" for some people) deals with their continuous link to the past. For example, about education, people talk a lot about history (Napoléon, USSR). They keep France in mind as a central city for culture, with authors like Victor Hugo, singers like Joe Dassin, and actors like Louis de Funès and Pierre Richard. Another interesting observation concerning the link to the past of the Russians: in the 1970s, it was a sign of wealth to have crystal dishes at home and carpets on the wall. Nowadays, if you go to a house where people aren’t rich – you’ll still see these things, as they wouldn't have given them away.

Furthermore, a friend told me once that it was easy to recognize intellectual people from the USSR period: “They are wearing very valuable and fashionable things from that time. They weren’t for everybody; but as you can see, they still wear them: either they cannot buy others, or they don’t want to forget about their past prestige.”

Russian elderly people usually kept the USSR habit of keeping everything (even flyers from the street): “who knows – it could be useful, one day.” Obviously, on the contrary to us who were (and still are) used to get everything ready on a golden plate, Russians are the best Mac Gyvers I ever met – even women!

On the other hand, when the children leave the house when they grow up, it won’t take long for the parents to donate everything, whereas in France, people are very close to material things, in particular from people who passed or moved away. They have a hard time letting go, to accept the situation, and therefore usually keep most of the things or give them to friends or to family members – to keep an eye on it. So that can be seen as a second ambiguity.

Money in life

As I have already explained, I saw an extraordinary solidarity here in Russia, especially in times of economic crisis. But it is not just in such hard times: Russians hardly live without credit (even if banks take a very high interest) and they often borrow money from people if urgently needed or if they cannot get bank credit.

Almost everybody I know in Russia has got one or more loans - it is normal. Very few people - usually economists, people who travel or can afford it - understand that loans are Hell, especially here, where the banks interest can go as high as 20%. But people are used to it. And when I tell them, “I would rather rent my entire life than have a loan for 1/3 of it. I don’t want to feel any pressure every month, thinking if I can pay for it or not. Renting until one can afford to buy without credit gives a feeling of freedom and independence, where you can decide to leave the place in a minute.”

Russian people agree that loans are stressful, and are not a solution as they can cost you more money in the end, but on the other hand - another "oddity", they tell me that it is “in their mentality” and that it is always better “to have his/her own home than depend on an owner who can tell you to leave in a minute”. And that’s the point: there are more risks to rent in Russia (rare contracts), but easier to find another apartment, especially in the provinces. When an official agreement exists, it is usually a moral one between the owner and the renter, without official stamp.

But if you cannot afford to buy a home – isn’t it better to be patient, enjoy life and still pay a monthly rent? Especially when you live in Moscow - one of the top 5 cities to be the most expensive in the world concerning real estate? Aligned with national market prices, provincial cities also have very high prices for real estate. For example, friends of mine bought a 3-room apartment in Perm, in a “luxury building” (new house, nice view, more comfort and security than others), not in the city center; and they bought it for the same price as a 2-room-apartment in Paris! And it is Perm, not even Moscow! So that remains a real "mystery" for me...

It can give you an idea, when you earn a salary average in Perm of 12 000p (about 300 E) how hard you’ll have to work to pay for a simple 1-room apartment, with a down payment of 20%.

The Russians take out loans not only in order to survive - sometimes they take one for a car, furniture, a fur coat, or a cell phone! It’s a habit. I can remember a friend of mine - owner of a real estate agency: a couple years ago he bought a 1-room apartment with the same credit as his clients (20 years)! I know “the cobbler's children go barefoot”, but still! He then bought a car (Jeep Subaru) for 1 million Rubles (25 000 E) and after a year, understood he could not afford the payment anymore and sold it for a smaller American car. As you can see, prices of cars in Russia are minimum 2 times higher than in other countries: a Lada costs the same price as an Opel coming from abroad - Opel which costs already 3 times more than in France. But as I have already pointed out, to live without a car in Russia is very difficult, especially in the provinces.

In this particular case, I could never understand why a top manager of a real estate agency, who iz well-off, had to take so many loans himself. this example will point out again the particular paradoxical state of mind of people here. Not long ago, he confessed he himself never understood why he bought his apartment on credit as he could have paid it right away in cash. Hopefully, woman’s wisdom got into his mind and he paid for the entire apartment at once after a couple months. But then, he bought an electronic book, telling me: “I took a credit for a couple of months.” Why?! No idea. And the majority of Russians think like that, whereas they understand that credit can be dangerous, especially with such an unstable economy.

Solidarity and generosity among people

The old generation

We already saw the “solidarity” between family members: old people take care of the younger ones and vice versa; not like in France, where elderly people usually live either by themselves or in an elderly house.

Of course it is not always comfortable to live together with different generations, but they usually don’t have the choice and live in the grandparents’ apartment, which they got free from the government after the Perestroika. Many conflicts occur in such contexts, where people force themselves to be grateful - no help from the heart.

In France, it’s a lot different. A couple generations ago, we lived like in Russia, with the grandparents in charge until their death; but nowadays, more and more people want to live separately, leaving the house very early (studying, independence), coming back only on holidays. Why this occurred ? Here is my opinion:

Old people are usually too proud to live with their children. They want to live alone, to prove themselves and others that they can do it, despite their age

Old people don’t want to be a source of annoyance for their family

Old people are used to being autonomous; they don’t want to depend on their children

Old people are usually seen more as “killjoys” and old than “wise people with knowledge” (as it is the case in many countries of Asia or Africa for instance)

Conflicts often happen in a family with different generations living together: a common language isn’t found - everybody is unhappy; better to live alone is the slogan

Real estate is more and more expensive and for each member of a big family to have its own space and intimacy is becoming more difficult; a house or a big apartment is needed but it is not always possible

Nobody wants to take the responsibility of living with old and often sick people anymore

People were used to living separately and don’t want to take their parents with them anymore, even if they are getting older and need their support

I can remember the shock and the shame I felt once about my country. In 2002, as a very big wave of heat came to Europe, many people died. In France, it happened that a couple weeks or months later, old people were found in their apartment dead. They were either without a family or were just people who nobody worried about. That is our notion of “family” and “humanity”. And this phenomenon unfortunately doesn’t happen only during climate changes. I read an article yesterday about the body of a 65-year-old French woman found by chance, 2 months after her death.

This would not happen in Russia. Even if you rarely know your neighbors in big cities, old people have still friends, family or anybody who would know and get to know about them.

Men

Even if Russian men aren’t always gentlemen, they are a lot more generous than French. A man pays for everything for his lover if he can afford it ; it is also not rare to see that he buys her a car, an apartment and pays for holidays. Of course, it depends on his finances, but in France, I never met a rich man buying a Porsche Cayenne for his lover. Just like that. Here it happens! I even saw a marriage ceremony, where the groom said how much he loved the bride and asked her to close her eyes, as he had a “little present” for her. When she opened her eyes again, she was staying in front of a new car, packed up with a big nice ribbon.

Tips and other money offered

Russians usually leave nice tips when they know the salary of the person isn’t so high (cafes, restaurants, beauty salons), or give money to people on the street. On the other hand, if you are a hitchhiker, you’ll always have to pay for a drive.

I can remember we picked up a young girl hitchhiking late at night in Perm, and as we left her in front of her house, she took her wallet and took out the same amount of money as for a taxi. My friend and I refused, and she was shocked. Feeling uncomfortable, she insisted, and when she left, she wished us so much “health”, “God help”, that we will live happily until we are 150 years old for sure!

Another time, we took an older man in the country side. He also wanted to give us money. We refused once more, and I said, “Abroad, it is often free!” he said: “I guess you are not Russian – doing things for free, when it's possible to make money” and left, with a smile on his face.

Gratuitousness

A couple days ago, I sat down in the subway with a man sitting on my right. He asked: “do you want to go to the circus?” (Without “Good afternoon”, of course, or “excuse me please, but ” – it is still Russia). I wasn’t sure I heard well, but I did. He wanted me to go with his daughter to the circus, because someone else was not going. Well that’s what I imagined, as he didn’t explain anything to me. I thanked him, but refused:

“Why are you refusing?”

“I don’t like circus.”

“Weird – a free ticket and you say no.”

“Being free of change doesn't mean it is good for everybody. I don’t like the circus and don’t want to go there; why should I force myself to do something that I don’t like just because it is free?!”

That’s the point: when something is free, Russians don’t refuse anything – ever. They are even ready to accept pet's food (given as advertisement on the street) even though they don’t have pets. Without thinking whether it is useful or not, without looking at the quality. The essential is quality – free.

You will often see Russians on a plane taking a hand full (or minimum a couple) of candies before flying and after flying, even if they won’t eat them. But it is free – take it. When I flew with my ex-boyfriend, I told him I wasn’t eating food in the plane because I didn’t like it; I was however taking things with me I liked. He always answered: “I don’t like it either – but it is part of the ticket for which I paid - so I’ll eat.”

I don’t think it is “typical Russian”, but still. I didn’t see that much in France or in other countries where I lived.

The way of traveling

I met many Russians, who had a trip to Europe. What does it mean? Well, they usually went there by bus (cheaper), travelled 1-2 days in each country, saw 4-5 countries in 10 days, came back, but with a Dolce & Gabanna belt- A real one!

It is not rare to hear that: for Russians, Europe is very small and they consider that they don’t need much time to “see it all”.

Coming back, they usually tell you: “very nice, a little bit too quick; a couple more days would have been necessary, but in general – I almost saw everything”. So if we would be totally frustrated, the Russians are in contrast totally satisfied with this kind of travelling! Tastes differ.

Attitude towards animals and nature

A very interesting factor in Russia is the respect they have for nature and animals – they know much more about the flora and the fauna than the French. Therefore, it is not rare to meet people feeding birds, squirrels in parks, homeless dogs or cats on the streets (even in big cities), to build birds-houses with cartons of juice or water bottles and hang on trees. In Gorki Park (center of Moscow), there is even a distributor for people to buy birdseed and duck food.

On the other hand, forests and savage wonderful places are turned into garbage. It is as if when it is not near someone’s own home, people pay no attention to the environment; they throw things out of the car window, shamelessly, arguing, “There are people paid to pick it up.”

Other paradoxes

Russians try to take care of their health by going to fitness clubs a few times a week, or to banya. But like in the USA, people here usually don’t walk much, and it is therefore not surprising, when you are looking for your path, to hear: “Walking there?! It is very far away! About 15 minutes on foot.” For French people, especially from Paris, where it is possible to walk anywhere on foot, it is a funny answer. By the way, if French count in meters or in the number of streets to explain to a person where to go, people here count in “quarters” – a quarter starts from the corner of a building until the other corner.