Stereotypes (part 3)

Russia – a dangerous and unsafe country, full of mafia, corruption and spies, populated with aggressive people and stealers, with a dictator at its head

Russia itself

Like for prostitution, I don’t want to go on the political issue too deeply: it is a very delicate subject, which I don’t want to argue in my first book. Just know that such a country like Russia has got many nuances, especially because of its size and history. The frontier between (un-) official things is minuscule, statistics doubtful and mass media - manipulators. It’s common abroad, but these factors might be multiplied here.

I cannot affirm that despite of the sudden, strong and devastating economical crisis of 2009, the country is more dangerous today. According to statistics – it is, especially at a time of economic crash: robbery, corruption, murders increase. But it might be just because media talk more about it. When economical difficulties increased in 2009, I saw more solidarity than danger.

Russia seen by others

I left home at 17 to study in the USA for a year. Afterwards, I didn’t stop travelling and living between my native-country and abroad. My family never worried much about my choice of life, trusting me and knowing I’d never act in any unconscious manner, but when I decided to work in Russia – I thought everybody would have a heart attack, hearing: “Russians will kill you!”

Eventually, they did not have a cardiac arrest and I’m still alive, but some relatives regularly call - whereas they never did before, checking if everything is fine. The thing is that few people knew about the existence of the small provincial city of Perm (1 million inhabitants!) until unhappy events happened while I lived there: a plane “accidentally” crashed in 2008, a prestigious café “accidentally” burnt in 2009, a crazy-bus got into 29 cars the same year, and homeless people were arrested for having sold “human kebabs”. But thanks to that, everybody increased his/her knowledge in geography!

Russian is a hard language

There is no accounting for taste! I love Slavonic languages, but it’s my opinion!

I can remember what I heard when I chose German at school: “German?! It’s such a difficult and ugly language!” But when I lived in Germany for a while, I understood that every language has its own linguistic nuances. French (with Quebec, Switzerland, Belgium, ex-colonies) and English (England, Scotland, America, Ireland) are no exception; it is therefore hard to talk about “the [German] language” because of the existence of many accents and dialects. Of course, if you take movies for reality, you will never get a realistic view of Germans (cf WWII) or of Russians (mafias) and their language, but it is not so close to reality anymore.

Before I left for Ural, my uncle told me about a movie based on a classical Russian book: Dersu Uzala. That was one of his associations to the country. After seeing the film, I thought about the image he had from Russia (old-fashioned) and that he was probably not the only one to think of the country that way. However, I’m proud that he knew about this book! It’s a classic: many Russians even studied it at school!

Russians listen to the Red Army Choir, drinking vodka and eating roe

Roe

It might sound weird, but 6 years in Russia and I still have never tried black roe! Russians often eat salmon roe, but I don’t know many people who ate the most expensive roe in the world – the black one. I always heard from my acquaintances who tried it: “I dunno” So, is it worth it? I guess once in life one should try, even if the price here is the same as in France, but I personally don’t like fish eggs.

The Red Army Choir

I saw once a concert on TV, where the choir participated - the only time I heard it here. People don’t know much about it, except that it exists; it is more linked to soldiers and people related to this sector of activity.

Alcohol

The part that you are certainly impatient to read.

* Expansion of alcohol in Russia

First of all, according to statistics, French and Russian people almost drink the same amount of alcohol every year; the only difference is that the quantity of drinks diverges from the number of drinkers. The same thing for the USA: almost the same amount of vodka drunk per year is listed with Russia – the amount per person is the only big difference. (It’s like political power here: money and rights are also plenty in Russia, but in the hands of a minority of people).

Secondly, French people drink mostly soft alcohol, not like in Russia, even though they also love wine and beer.

Finally, the way of drinking totally differs from Russia and Europe. While French people drink wine while eating and Germans while sitting with friends, the Russians can drink all the time, even without eating.

* The question of sobriety

In order to remain sober, the Russians have a strategy, almost a ritual – which doesn’t prevent them from grimacing while drinking, I can remember how my ex-man getting crazy while we were in France for New Year’s Eve: we offered some Perm-Vodka to my friends and while they were trying it, my ex kept saying: “Oh no! Don’t drink it like that! Natacha – tell them! Don’t let them drink like that – they’ll get sick!”

Desperate, he concluded at the end of the evening: “French people cannot drink vodka properly”.

What is the secret? Just take a shot of vodka and a piece of food (traditionally a piece of cucumber). Take a deep breath while smelling the piece, hold your breath, drink at once, and while breathing out, eat the piece of food. Voilà!

* The purpose of drinking

In France, if food helps people to get together and have a nice time, in Russia – alcohol does. It is even amazing to notice the number of terms linked to alcohol - a glass for liquor: rioumka, for a smaller amount of liquor: stopka, for special liquors: stoparik, for wine: bokal, for a bottle of 25cl: tchekushka, for more than 25 cl: boutylka. Also verbs associated with drinking vary: pit’ , vypit’ , dernout’ , derïabnout’, jakhnout’ , kirnout’ , khlopnout’ , khrïapnout’ , vzdrognout’ . From this point of view, Russian is definitely a rich language!

Why choosing alcohol?

It’s the easiest way to relax, to talk more, to laugh, and smile. But if in a group of people, someone drinks more than others, this person can be excluded from the rest of the conversations; everybody should drink jointly the same amount of alcohol.

When people are together, someone usually stands up and proposes a toast. In France, we mostly wish health at the beginning of the meal, but in Russia, it can be anything at any time: “to women!”, “to your new apartment”, “to a better future”… But be careful when you say “to Love”: you’ll have to drink your glass at once, or at least, without putting it back on the table until empty (sign of superstition we’ll explain later).

Why do the Russians make so many toasts? I guess it is a way of attracting attention to something important for them, of listening carefully to one another, also the possibility of inviting people to express themselves and to communicate more. Afterwards, the same as almost everywhere: one touches his/her glass with each other in order to prove their presence, and give a sign or a word of agreement about the toast proposed. The toast is usually offered to the Star of the evening (if a B-Day, a diploma, a baby, a new job), and then to the parents of the person in question if they are nearby. In these occasions, a poem, beautiful monologues, or an “anecdote” (Russian way of calling a “joke”) can be heard.

If a person drinks by himself without proposing a toast, it is already a bad sign, maybe even a sign of alcoholism. On the other hand, not drinking at all is disrespectful: you refuse then to be part of the community; and believe me: eyes are everywhere, especially on foreigners; it’s better to pretend you are drinking or have a glass of non-alcoholic drink, than nothing.

How the Russians see the French and vice and versa

French men are usually seen as romantic, gallants, sensual, sexual, a bit stingy, having style, sophisticated, and missing some masculinity.

French women are usually perceived as elegant, having style, natural, thin, pretty, charming, free, and feminine. They only buy clothes in boutiques on the Champs Elysées, use luxury perfumes, wear diamonds and a small Christian Dior handbag.

We are seen by Russians as lazy, proud, arrogant, conservative and always on strike (all French agree on the fact that striking is our national sport). We also all drink and love wine, cheese, snails, frog legs, and of course eat croissant every morning. Paris is THE city of love, where people constantly kiss each other on the street without modesty. We are bad at languages as we consider French to be the most wonderful, sensual and romantic language on Earth.

Russians think that we always associate them to bears, running around on the street, like cows in India. I should point out, that almost every Russian I know that went to Europe came back with this myth! I don’t know where it comes from. I personally cannot imagine a European thinking like that!

For Russians, we are also necessary linked to Napoleon! How many times people laughed at me for something I did or say wrong: “It is for what Napoleon did to us in 1812!” A little bit like some British who still have a grudge against us fot the Hundred Years' War (XIII-XIVth c.)

By the way, it already shows the high level of the Russian education. They don’t know only about their past - like Americans for instance, but also about the world-wide history. Personally, except for the image of our small Napoleon with his hand on his heart, I could not make a speech about him. Russians can! And they also are very familiar with our literature and culture. The problem is that - especially if they’ve never been to occidental countries yet, Russians usually see France as a cultural center (associating us to Victor Hugo, De Funès, Pierre Richard, Joe Dassin), with a beautiful language, full of smart people dressed in Chanel, who are talking about the last classic roman they read, while on the other hand, Africans climb trees to get bananas.